A Day to Wear Shorts
I'm out of work.
Planning to do as little as I can around the house.
It's currently over sixty degrees.
I declare today, this day, April 3rd, in the year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Seventeen, the official first day to acceptably wear shorts, and by royal decree usher forth an end to winter for the next handful of months pending, of course, the inevitable global ice age.